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Discuss Your Experience
Jade
Posts: 3 Joined: January 2007 |
Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 10:03 pm
I'm pregnant with my second and really want to quit my job and stay home with the kids. I work in sales and travel a lot. I hate leaving my daughter. I never thought I'd feel this way but once I became a mum I started to feel like work was overrated. My husband freaked when I told him that I want to quit. he said that it wasn't fair to put all the financial responsibility on him that he'd thought that I'd always work. Has anyone else had these kind of conversations? |
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Mary
Posts: 1 Joined: January 2007 |
Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 3:48 pm
Jade -- I've been having them for years. It's a constant source of stress between me and my husband. He's an artist and I'm in HR. Steady, pensionable job, whereas his is unpredictable. Feast or famine type work. It never bothered me before we had kids, but now I wish he made more money so that I could have the choice to stay-at-home. I feel awful writing that, but that's how I feel. I've never said it to him because it would crush him and he is a great Dad. He's the one who picks the kids up from creche and makes dinner. But I'd rather be doing that instead of working. Is this what it's come to, I want to be a 1950s housewife??!! I don't know. But being a working mum is a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. |
Seamus
Posts: 2 Joined: January 2007 |
Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:44 am
My wife and I had a similar issue because she fell in love with the kids and could not be parted from them. We worked out that if she worked at the weekend (a different job admittedly)and I did some extra overtimne, we could deal with the extra financial burden. Yes it was something of a pain for a while but you get use to it and she was happy. It emphasises the importance of ironing out these things before the baby is born and also that each person has to be flexible. I am sure you can work out asolution that will ease the financial burden; remember it is only for a short period of time and they grow up really quick! |
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Emily
Posts: 4 Joined: January 2007 |
Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:00 pm
Men don't seem to realise that staying at home with your children isn't a licence to put your feet up! Working outside the family home is a piece of cake compared to working inside the home. My husband and I share the cooking in the evenings upon my husband's return from work (rather than my treating him as lord of the manor, as my mother treated my father!) I think it's given my husband a good appreciation of the fact that we each work during the day and so should share the evening tasks! |
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Cormac
Posts: 1 Joined: January 2007 |
Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 9:43 pm
Jade, I don't know your specific set of circumstances or what standard of living you expect, but I have seen so many of my mates beaten down and just worn out by their wives demands. She decides to quit work so she can stay home with the kids. Nothing wrong with that. But then, all of a sudden, the house isn't big enough, the car isn't big enough, the garden has to be redone. It never. never stops. These guys are miserable. If you're going to stop working, is it fair to expect your husband to earn the equivalent of 2 salaries? Maybe that's not what you expect. tell your husband that you're happy to live in a smaller house, drive an old car. I bet that'd make him feel a lot better about your decision. |
